Truths that I have had to come to terms with.

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

3. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5. Mapquest really needs to start the directions on #5. I'm almost positive I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.

6. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

7. I can't remember that last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

8. Bad decisions make good stories.

9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you realize you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

10. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BlueRay? I really don't want to have to restart my collection...again...

11. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to 'Save Changes' to my 10 page report that I'm almost positive I didn't make any changes to.

12. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

13. I hate when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello! Hellooo?! **** it!), but when I immediately call back no one answers. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

14. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good, and then seeing no one of importance all day. What a waste!

15. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone so I know when NOT to answer.

16. I think the freezer deserves a light as well...

17. I wish Google Maps had an "avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. Sometimes I'll watch a movie I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize that I had no idea what was going on.

19. I would rather carry 10 overloaded plastic bags in each hand, than have to take 2 trips to bring the groceries in.

20. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

22. How many times is it appropriate to say 'what' before you just nod and smile, but still have no idea what was said.

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong brothers and sisters!

24. I hate being that car.

25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

26. There's no worse feeling than the millisecond you feel you're going to die after you've tipped your chair back just a little too far.

27. As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in their pocket, cell phone in their purse, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but I'd bet that everyone can find the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

I didn't come up with these...But I really enjoyed them.. and have thought all of these things at one time or another. I hope you have thoroughly enjoyed them as well.

Wow. I have really dropped the ball on this blog thing.

Good thing not many people read it.

anyway...

I have come to the recent realization that I hate horses.

HATE them.

Like with a burning passion.

They aren't beautiful, graceful, or 'mother natures gift to earth', and I don't want one for Christmas. As far as I'm concerned, in most cases they are over-glorified lawn ornaments.

Here... read another blog that pretty much sums up my feelings.

theoatmeal.com/story/eat_horses

I am such a city slicker sometimes...

But I like to hike, ski, camp, and be outside...so I feel like this hatred is ok.

Seriously though...horses suck.

Inspiration.

In my history of Graphic Design class we've been talking a lot about old printing processes. I've never really given it much thought before... But woodcut illustrations are simply amazing...

You know... someone had to engrave this image into a piece of wood, backwards from they way they wanted it... and then printed it. The engraved this! by hand! Oh, how I love and hate computers.

The other side of suicide.

How dare you run from me.

How dare you wait until your life was flashing before your eyes to call for help.

I trusted you.

I cared for you.

And all I receive in return is a cold shoulder and your vomit of lies.

What other dirty secrets hide behind your skin and pulse through your bloody veins?

Why is it that chugging a suicide cocktail seemed more inviting than cracking your lips to speak?

I can't bear this again.

I don't suppose that you have ever glanced further than the end of your thoughtless nose.

And I certainly can't conceive why when you let your chin drop to your chest for what you thought was the last time, it gave you any relief.

I didn't know that it was that gruesome...

to wake up everyday on a soft, warm bed

to have food in your stomach

to have so many people call you "friend"

While you thought you were breaking free you didn't take one single second to stop and think about how many shackles you'd be leaving around the ankles of those you left behind.

You didn't take one moment to contemplate the desolation you'd leave the rest of us in.

I just hope you know now, what you didn't know then.

I hope you realize that you are loved far beyond your comprehension.

You are my family

You are my friend

Although you've shattered the reverence and trust I once had for you

These deep wounds will heal and these scars will eventually fade..

You'll always be my cousin and that's the way I want it to stay.

Ah the year begins...

I am almost a week into school, woo hoo! ok, just had to get that out of the way...

So I got home from work today and was really feeling like I should crack open the 'ol Bible...something I do not do often enough...and was led to my favorite passage...again.

A pretty wise guy once shared this with me and a few others, and it has really hit home the past few months.

so I think I'll share it with you now...

Job 38

1Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm. He said:

2"Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? 3Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. 4"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. 5Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? 6On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone-- 7while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? 8Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, 9when I make the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, 10when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, 11when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt'? 12Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place, 13that it might take he earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it? 14The earth takes shape like clay under a seal; its features stand out like those of a garment. 15The wicked are denied their light, and their upraised arm is broken. 16Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or waked in the recesses of the deep? 17Have the gates of death been shown to you? Have you seen the gates of the shadow of death? 18Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this. 19What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside? 20Can you take them to their places? Do you know the paths to their dwellings? 21Surely you know, for you were already born! You Have lived so many years! 22Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail, 23which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle? 24What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? 25Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm, 26to water a land where no man lives, a desert with no one in it, 27to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with a grass? 28Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? 29From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens 30when the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen? 31Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades? Can you lose the cords of Orion? 32Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs? 33Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up God's dominion over the earth? 34Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a frood of water? 35Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, 'here we are'? 36Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind? 37Who has the wisdom to count the clouds? Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens 38when the dust becomes hard and the clods of earth stick together? 39Do you hunt the the prey for the lioness and satisfy the hunger of the lions 40when they crouch in their dens or lie in wait in a thicket? 41Who provides the food for the raven when its young cry out to God and wander about for lack of food?

... Ok so a little background. [The extra, super paraphrased version...remember I am fitting 37 chapters into a paragraph here] Job was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. He had a big family, and 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 donkeys, and also had a large number of servants. His kids had bubbling social lives, and always hung out together. Job would give burnt offerings, just in case his children cursed the Lord. He was even looking out for others! So then, Satan comes to the Lord basically suggesting that if the Lord took away Job's hedge of protection and everything he had, Job would "curse the face of the Lord" ...so time goes on, and the Lord proves to Satan that Job won't change, even when Job's friends come talk to him after he's lost his family, farm, servants, money, and health, and tell him, "Uhh, Job. This God of yours seems really cool and all, but if He's doing this to you, you should probably turn your back on Him." Or, "Ya know, I think you've just sinned. Sin, sin, sin, you must be a murderer or something, because this would never happen if you didn't bring it upon yourself. Come on, just come clean, what did you doooo?" Basically, "why, why, why, Why, WHY, WhY, WWHHYY, wwhhyy, why, why, Why, whY, wHy, wwwwhhhhyyyyyy????????????????" (or any other way you can think to type it) Job 38 is what God responds with. I LOVE Job 38 because I receive so much comfort from it. It reminds me to stop asking, "why!" and let God say, "because". Because God knows what's best for us, He just knows we won't get it. Just like when you thought every time your parents answered with "because", it was sooooo irritating. But, it wasn't a cop-out, it was just easier than explaining to a 5 year old why they can't eat candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. God sees the big picture, and knows what is best for each of our lives. Hopefully you gained a little encouragement from my little bible excerpt. Now, go forth and read the rest of Job! It's fascinatingly powerful.

Sheesh.

Wow. Where to start. I am so beyond ready to start school. I mean it kind of sucks that Summer is over, but all of my friends are already back. I just feel like I'm being sooo unproductive sitting around at home. It gives me waaay too much time to think. I think and think and think. There are so many things I want to say to so many people as a result of this thinking that it's driving me INSANE seriously! The way the mind works is insane, and it pisses me off, to tell you the truth. *sigh* ok. over it.

Yesterday... I went to SFCC to go get my stuff for school all figured out. Yeah... not so much. I still don't know where my classes are, still don't have an SID card, and still don't have a parking pass. Mel and I ended up just going to Pete's Pizza and splitting a hawaiian calzone, which was DELICIOUS! I highly recommend their food. The place is a little scheisty, but it's super delicious. We also read The Inlander, which is one of my favorite things to do. Old ladies behind us were bashing Facebook and Twitter, it was really funny. They were just like, " I don't get it, why did she have to write on facebook about gong to the store to get binkies for her kid. It doesn't make any sense. Who cares about that?."
"Yeah! and Twitter, psh, all they do is write what they're thinking."
"I know I don't want people knowing all that about me ALL the time... kids are so strange..."
It was great because at that moment, Mel was sending a Tweet from her phone. so cliche. And I was checking my facebook from my iPod...we're cool.

And today... I got to see Zane!! who none of you know, but whatever. He's a cool kid and I know him from Skills Center, which is just as ghetto and ridiculous and pointless as it sounds. It was good to see him.

Sooo there ya go. All my thoughts of the day in a nutshell.

P.S. Did I mention I'm going to be a Sasquatch? That's our mascot. Seriously. Try not to laugh... that's right, you can't.

A good friend will help you move, a true friend will carry the litter box...

I'm not doing very well with this whole blog thing. It's just not at the top of my list, sorry folks. Oh well. I'm writing now, and that's all that counts, right?

Yesterday I got to help my very favoritest family move into THE most adorable new house! The Jensens have the cutest new place. I absolutely am in love with it. I've never actually helped anyone move before, at least not to that scale. Not that there was a mountain of stuff, but it was still really fun! But at the end of it all I would still say my favorite part was the free pizza. Rachel, Mary and Jordan all helped, along with a bunch of Braden's big, brawny friends (as I came to call them). I am so excited to help the girls decorate their basement! It is sooo spacious, and it's all for them! When we finish I will definitely post some pictures. =]

Today I have to go out to school. I have to do all the things I should have been doing a month ago to prepare for Monday. This is the absolute last day to get my parking pass, student ID, and find my way around the maze to my classes. Well, no the ABSOLUTE last day, I mean I could stand in a giant line after my first class, but I'm not that big of a procrastinator. I'm sort of lamenting the fact that I have to go back on Monday. I'm excited, don't get me wrong, but also lamentacious (yes lamentacious... it's a word.. it's not a word.. but I like it) I don't get to just sit around and do whatever I want. And the cut to hours will also not be fun, less hours at "The Pit", means less money in my bank account...

Ok.. I'm going to quit my belly aching. I'm going to go get some coffee and Melanie (who has the best blog ever you should really look it up. smellmeldotcom.blogspot.com) and go to school.

P.S. I just really like Kitty Forman

Ahhh Kids...

So yesterday I watched my sister before and after school, and will do the same today. She is just so cute, and of course, says the darndest things. For example, "Rachel, I'm going to hit you in the wing if you continue this behavior," I said (she was dressed in an angel/fairy/prncess/warrior outfit). She simply responded, "Sissy, don't do that, I won't be able to fly!" Oh man, I love that kid. I only wish she could stay this way forever, but I know that soon enough she'll be worrying about high school drama and where to go to college.... poor Rachel.

And another thing, I would like to submit that nothing beats a good classic movie. I simply adore It Happened One Night! with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. Paris When it Sizzles, with William Holden and none other than Audrey Hepburn, just can't be beat! They have great story lines, are entertaining, and are generally very witty. It's just something you can't find in movies these days. It's all sex jokes and drinking. Yes, The Hangover was funny, I guess, but it just doesn't measure up to the class and sheer brilliance of almost any move pre-1965. Even now, I'm watching Gone with the Wind, Clark Gable is just such a witty fox in every movie. Anyway, I'll quit rambling...go watch some classic movies...

The first post is always awkward..

Well here goes nothing, I'm starting a blog. Item #99 on my bucket list now checked off. I guess I actually have to keep this for a while and continue updating for it to be really completed. This starting a blog thing is kind of awkward, like a blind date. I don't know what I should say, or what to write about. What to say, what to say....

I guess I could start complaining about how much my mouth hurts. I had my wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday, and my jaw literally feels like it's falling apart. They did give me painkillers, but I'd like to stay off of those as much as possible. Seriously though, it's terrible. If you were with me in person right now this is all you'd hear about anyway, so I guess I'll try to squeeze as much sympathy as I can from you from this page. AAARRGGGHHHH!!! stupid mouth. stupid teeth (or lack there of..). It's things like this that make me want to punch the mouths of those around me so they can sympathize with my plight.

This page turned whiney really quick. wow. I'm starting college, writing this from a Mac, and posting a blog that sounds like it was written by the biggest baby in the greater Spokane area... so cliche.. I apologize.

I'll sign off before I manage to jam my foot down my throat any further...

-Barney