2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
3. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
5. Mapquest really needs to start the directions on #5. I'm almost positive I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
6. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
7. I can't remember that last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
8. Bad decisions make good stories.
9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you realize you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
10. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BlueRay? I really don't want to have to restart my collection...again...
11. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to 'Save Changes' to my 10 page report that I'm almost positive I didn't make any changes to.
12. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
13. I hate when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello! Hellooo?! **** it!), but when I immediately call back no one answers. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
14. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good, and then seeing no one of importance all day. What a waste!
15. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone so I know when NOT to answer.
16. I think the freezer deserves a light as well...
17. I wish Google Maps had an "avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. Sometimes I'll watch a movie I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize that I had no idea what was going on.
19. I would rather carry 10 overloaded plastic bags in each hand, than have to take 2 trips to bring the groceries in.
20. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
22. How many times is it appropriate to say 'what' before you just nod and smile, but still have no idea what was said.
23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong brothers and sisters!
24. I hate being that car.
25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
26. There's no worse feeling than the millisecond you feel you're going to die after you've tipped your chair back just a little too far.
27. As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in their pocket, cell phone in their purse, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but I'd bet that everyone can find the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
I didn't come up with these...But I really enjoyed them.. and have thought all of these things at one time or another. I hope you have thoroughly enjoyed them as well.
